Mens 1st XI vs Cambridge University 2

This week the boys face Cambridge Uni in the second instalment of Div 1N hockey. University sides have historically been the kryptonite of Long Sutton teams with their overriding fitness and pace. Therefore, it was of high importance the side were well rested and in peak physical condition.... Danny McKenzie Rodrigues Rooney turning up to the meet time in the same clothes he put on at 3pm Friday and had not removed was a gut-wrenching sight for veteran James Harrison! Does alcohol enhance the performance of our army prospect alongside a cigarette, can of monster and two doughnuts from Greggs for breakfast? It's a question that my never be answered... mainly because he is always underwhelming in everything he does! Anyway! On to the game!

XIII men travelled to Wilberforce Road for what felt like the 28th time in 3 years. The speaker off was up first with Bessy taking yet another victory with Fred Again being heard in the suburb of Saffron Walden. We are yet to witness Bessy lose a fight. The warmups were underway with the tunes firing the squad up to 100%. The match itself began in typical fashion with Uni having the large proportion of possession. Watts endless running was key, pressurising the back line with the ball making sure they did not often have much time to find a pass. In turn, the boys were pressurising the home side into mistakes and, as the half progressed, created more and more chances going forward. Sargeant was seeing success down the left flank as was Batten down the right. Centrally, the lads were pretty well structured thanks to the shape of Gray, Ibrahim and Baker and the organisation of Harrison and Donaghy behind. There were also a few forays forward through the middle of the pitch for the likes of Baker and Gray with the former winning the first PC with one of his. A good chance set up for the greens. A solid trap from Sargeant but in response, Baker fired a weak flick straight down the barrel. Weaker in fact than his attempt to persuade pikey private East not to drink too much last night!

There was not much else to add on the first half. As we neared the end we finished with the best chance of the lost however. Baker, rounded 2 and was left in a much favourable position, 1v1 with the keeper, 12 yards out and on his backhand. The result? Smashed straight at the keeper. Should he have got his feet round and slotted it? Maybe. Should he have passed to Batten? Probably. Should he have scored? Definitely! HT 0-0

The half time chat was a positive one. Enough chances to be well in the game for a result and the boys had been relatively un-troubled. If you asked a neutral, they should probably be leading. Chris offered his words of wisdom, Proctor didn't, Nellis told Oldfield to keep his shape, Oldfield coughed, and Mr Rodrigues took out a cigarette! Second half, lets go!

The second half started similarly to the first but the difference in fitness was probably soon to show. Uni began to enjoy more success higher up the pitch and life was getting harder at the back for Oldfield, Donaghy, Harrison and Proctor. In the pre-match chat the lads had planned for sneaky deflections on PCs. What we hadn't planned for though was for them to have someone quite good at drag flicking. Cheating really isn't? Pigman only has little arms! The first was fired high and just to his left into the roof of the netting and the Pig could only just get a little glove to it. To be fair, it did go quite quickly! Not long after that, another PC was wrapped into the left side netting. Yeeehhhh fair play. BUT FEAR NOT!!!! Danny McKenzie Rodrigues Rooney can also drag flick! So he claims. The boys won their second PC and decided to go for a reliable training ground routine. Right castle, hard flat flick to left post, deflection, goal (hopefully). What did Private Pat do? Fire it high and to the right! Legend has it he had visions of blasting one top right midway through his 8th shot of 13 sours last night!

Not long after Baker pulled one back for the boys, putting one of his own into the roof from open play. This followed Sargeant and Batten being very naughty boys having to sit down for 2 after stick tackles. Who would ever get a card?! Baker had a little chat after standing over one of the Uni boys and asking how the view was with his limited underwear under his shorts. The umpire called them over and the skipper had never used the word Sir so much in his life! Despite the boys dragging one back, Uni dragged two more back! A classy open play defelction and another flick fired high above the out-stretched arms of the Pig. At this point the game was about done. A couple more chance came going forward with hopes of a consolation but it was not to be. FT 4-1

An honest post-match chat but plenty of positives reiterated. A good shower, until Oldfield snapped off the handle. I thought that Was Fyson and Mac's job? Teas were sub-par but Piggers was impressed by the Baconaise sauce! POTM was Ibrahim for his midfield performance and DOTD... do I even need to say (see photo at the top of the report)? Next week we return to HQ for a bottom of the table clash with St Ives!!!